How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I need a new apartment!"

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam."

What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.

What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A pachydermatologist.

What lies on the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him!

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.

What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A dog that runs for help... after it bites your leg off.

Coming soon Chronic crap